And It Dawned on Me
by Esha Bhoon
Summary: Spike makes an arrival at the summer residence in Rome after 5 years after the LA apocalypse. And then there is Dawn. Guys plz dont desert me in the middle of the story. Reviews are appreciated. Thanks UPDATED!
1. Chapter 1

Rating- PG-13

Pairing- Spike/Dawn

Timeline- Future Fic- 5 years after LA showdown

13 had always been considered an ominous date. The date on which things would go wrong or bad times would come knocking. Well God or whatever forces were at play could not have chosen a better date to mark the arrival of this shadow of the past. Of course we knew he was up and about but we never expected him to show up 5 years later on our doorstep. He looked the same as ever but that was a granted as he was what he was. But there was something very different about his demeanor.

I never thought I would be the one to open the door to this arrival and clearly god had other plans. Buffy was out and Andrew had gone out with a couple of 'buddies'. So when the door bell rung I had no other choice but to confront the visitor. I think my first reaction was to just close the door and wait for him to leave. But then the humanity in me dominated the demon. Funny how the demon in me had hated the demon in front of me. But then he was never a demon to me, probably just a man who lost his way. So he just stood there for a moment taking in the surroundings and looking at me. It was almost like a look of longing as if he had been waiting for so long to do this. Without giving him an opportunity to speak I spoke the first few syllables

"Come in Spike".

Without uttering a single word he followed me in and situated himself in the middle of the apartment. Buffy never called it an apartment because it had 5 bedrooms with 2 kitchens and two porches. She liked to call it the mansion. It was the biggest house we had ever been in our life and buffy was proud of the fact that it was on account of her own blood and sweat (literally). But to me it was a building nothing more nothing else. So apartment being the preferred term here. Looking back again at the man in front of me I wondered what he would think of the place. Would he term it as posh or luxurious? I was about to vocalize my thoughts when he spoke the first word I had heard in 5 years.

"Dawn"

That was it. He just dawn. Nothing else. He was probably waiting for me to continue. But I think my brain had lost its capacity to process information after he spoke. This was a voice I had not heard in 5 years but it still gave the warmth and security I longed for. It was just a word but it summed up his entire emotional state. Pulling out of my thoughts I spoke in a very soft voice.

"Spike, please sit down." I motioned towards the couch and he followed my request. I continued again in a calm tone.

"5 years Spike. 5 years. That's a long time isn't? That is 60 months, 1825 days, 43800 hours, 2628000 minutes, 157680000 seconds. Wow really long time." I knew I was just babbling but it seemed to help the situation. I just felt like speaking for no rhyme or reason.

"I knew you would grow to have a bloody encyclopedia in that cute noggin of yours. I gather school's been treatin you well," He said getting back into the groove of our past chatter.

But I still felt like babbling for no reason.

"But the calculation is quite simple you see. We know there are 12 months so we get the result as 60. You take 365 days and multiply it by 5 which is a 'five' multiplication, it's a different technique, and then when you get the product you just multiply it with the number of hours everyday that is 24 and…."

But I abruptly got up ending the tirade. I was conscious of the fact that Spike was looking at me with a lopsided grin watching me babble away to glory.

"Do you want something to drink, but I doubt there is blood but I could get some from the butcher's shop nearby" I was ready to leave with my keys and leave that room to avoid the looks, the gazes, the chuckles, the head tilts, the bloody hells. But Spike got up and took hold of my hand making me drop the keys. But I did not bother to pick them up as Spike led me towards the couch and sat me down beside him. And now I knew he would start talking.

"Dawn, I can understand the entire flapping routine. S'all right. I am feeling the same way but the bloody vampire constitution helps keep me in control. I need you to know that I am here to meet you all for a while and then I will leave. Its just that the temptation got the better of me this time. So I had to come. Atleast now I realize I stayed away for bleedin 157680000 seconds and I don't plan to waste any more."

I remember in Sunnydale when we would have our chats he always looked me in the eye and told me all the stories of gore and bloodshed. He knew I never flinched or cringed. But today in this room he was sitting next to me and he was just conveying simple sentences to me with no intention of scaring me with bloodshed but he never let both pairs of blue meet. He was looking at my hand which he still had grasped in his own. I knew I had to speak now.

"Spike". I gently unhooked my hands from his but he was still looking at them affectionately. As if memorizing the patterns for safe keeping. "Spike, eyes….. Spike eyes here" That is when he looked up and saw me. I had to go on.

"Spike, firstly your eyes look really beautiful. Secondly Buffy and all the others are away. Probably be back in an hour or so. Thirdly I want you to know that I am glad that you realized you are a wanker and came to see us. And lastly if you don't mind I like my guests to be well fed. So I would really like to bring that blood for you." I knew what I had said were still bits just placed together but I knew Spike understood the situation.

"Dawn, if its alright I could come with you. You would not want a vampire left all alone in your house would you?" He asked with a grin.

"Exceptions are always there. But if you would like to accompany me I would be happy to oblige"

I answered with a completely serious tone. But I thought I sounded too British. Actually Giles told me that due to my 2-year course in England I had picked up their way of speaking. Not the accent but the use of certain spruced up words. Also whenever I got nervous or extra serious I would go all British. Which was the precise situation now.

But I just wanted to tone down so I added.

"Come on fang boy. Buffy will be home soon and if she will find her 'little' sis missing she will fire up the bazooka" He chuckled. He actually chuckled. No grin or smile just chuckling. Did he actually smile at all? Yeah he did smile when he was looking at my hands. Oh well. I picked up the fallen keys and picked up my jacket and followed Spike to my car.

He was surprised when he saw my car. But I could see the glint in his eye when he saw it. Actually when I had bought the car my mind partly believed that Spike would have been very impressed with my choice. Of course this day would come was never the expectation. Me being so busy in my thoughts did not notice Spike pulling me by my hand and taking me to another clearing in front of the building. There stood the same car that Spike had been drooling upon a second ago. It was red in color.

"Mine" Spike simply said.

I knew the viper was not a safe choice for a college student and it did no good to the family funds but I wanted to be wild for a change and finally bought the car. I had insisted on a black color but they had only red so I had to go for the red one. I never thought Spike would have the same car. Great minds think alike? Maybe.

Realizing the situation at hand I grasped his hand and walked back to my viper and boarded the little devil of a car. With me tucked in my seat belt and Spike looking at me adoringly I started the car with a smile directed at him. The car journey was fairly short. I told him to wait in the car and I hopped on towards the butcher's shop. Gustav the butcher knew us due to our regular business with him. He knew what we came for and we knew what he was. Actually Gustav was a peace loving Hashikar demon. They were very good businessmen who worked with humans in peace. I knew in time Gustav would be eyeing Spike and would play the older brother routine. And there it came.

"So who is the lad? New friend? I hope you know he is a vampire because I have some stakes with me here in the back. In case you need any. Even Luther is on the shift so if the guy troubles you Lu can come and bend him or straighten him."

"Gustav he is a friend of the family, just like Angel. But he is nothing like Angel. He is visiting and he needs his daily nourishment of blood. So I am here. So can I get the usual? Thanks"

I really felt like laughing. I knew Lu was a bulky guy with great muscles but Spike could beat 10 men like him. So 'man' handling was out of the question.

Taking the bag of the blood I made my way to the car. I could see Spike sitting in his seat fiddling with the radio. I knew an army of curses would follow. But nothing came except one bloody hell. I would have thought he would have blown the roof of the car but no, just 'a' bloody hell. I came into the car and sat on my seat. He did not notice me coming. But I kept looking at him.

There had been very few instances back in Sunnydale when Spike would look confused or frustrated. It usually happened to the party standing in front of him. But now he looked just that. The funny thing was he looked cute all muddled and puzzled. He looked vulnerable. So I did the first thing that came to mind.

I took his hand and pressed the button for the radio station and with his finger turned on the volume all the while guiding his fingers to the various buttons. He just looked at me and then broke into a smile. He squeezed my hand and then let go of it.

"Got pig's blood. Hope that's still the diet?"

"Yeah pet, don't fret. I am still one of the good blokes"

I knew he was trying to lighten the mood but yet this was a very serious topic. We had known that Spike was alive but were not told whether he was back on the juice again or not. But truthfully I never thought Spike would go back to his old ways. That was not the 'Spike' way to do things. I opted to say nothing and just started the car. I knew we had a long conversation to be had at the apartment. A long conversation.

The ride back home was quite uneventful. Just some glances at one another and at the road ahead. Spike told me that he was grateful the driving genes had not passed on from Buffy to me. I smiled. He smiled. That was how the ride was.

I thought by the time we reached the apartment Buffy would be back, but just when we entered the apartment my cell blared. I gestured Spike to put the blood in the kitchen and heat up some for himself. I finally answered the phone. It was Buffy.

"So when are you coming back? Oh! Well I have a surprise for you. Well that depends. No I will not tell you till you get here. Yeah I will check up on her. Ok then hopefully see you soon. Bye. Love ya"

Suddenly I came face to face with Spike. He was standing right in front of me with a mug in his hand and a smile on his face. Ok he had started smiling a lot recently. A LOT! He seemed to be looking at me to try and figure out something. I abruptly asked.

"What?"

"Just looking"

"At what?" I looked back to see if someone was behind me.

"Dawn Summers"

At this point he had edged closer and his mug was on the table. He came forward and enveloped me in a hug. At first I was startled due to the coldness of his body but then I relaxed into his embrace. Spike had never actually hugged me before. Maybe just a pat on the shoulder or a twirl of a hair strand. But he had never given me full on contact. I think he was just overwhelmed after seeing me after such a long time.

"Do you know that you have grown up to be a very beautiful woman? I am so proud"

He said while still hugging me. His hands rested on my back. One hand was stroking my hair and the other hand just stayed on my back in a way steadying me. I felt this sudden warmth creep up inside me which had not come for a long time. I felt like saying something but I had to keep my emotions at bay …….. for now.

"Spike, I want to say this again. I am very glad that you came here to visit us. I don't mean to sound rude but breathing is becoming a serious issue." Spike grinned and released me still clutching my shoulders. The he stepped back and caught hold of his mug again. But he was looking straight at me.

"So what did big sis say?"

"Oh the usual. She got carried away with the shopping spree. So she is gonna be late. She might come late in the night. But you are welcome to wait if you want." I was analyzing the prospect of spending 5 hours with Spike. It was a win-win situation for me but I had to make sure Spike wanted to stay.

"Why didn't you go with her? Presumed you would be thick as thieves"

He now sat back down on the couch. He now seemed much more relaxed and comfortable since we came back from the butcher's. Maybe it was the blood. But I would just like to think that maybe it was me.

"Oh I don't like shopping that much. Got everything I need right here. And shopping is generally a blonde's thing. Brunettes like it simple. No offense."

I actually did not mean to be so sharp but I wanted to highlight the fact to Spike that I was a brunette. I don't know why though. But he seemed to enjoy the comment as he grinned.

"None taken. Pet, I think I have told you this but I am a natural brunette. Platinum blonde is just my signature. So you and me are rocking in the same boat." He said this with a devilish grin.

"So Spike how have these 5 years treated you? What did you do? Where did you go? I mean we knew you were alive..er.. undead but we actually never got to know your whereabouts." I knew I had to get to it some time or the other. So I just plunged right into it. But he remained calm and smiled again and answered.

"Well Dawn those are too many bleedin questions at one time. Ok these 5 years have treated me well. I am my own man now. I gave a great deal of time to working with Angel in the beginning but then I started to travel around the world setting up small demon fighting units for the public protection. My last stop was England where I met the watcher. We had a bloody fantastic time quipping each other. He told me about you all being here. So here I am."

He gestured towards the apartment as he said this. I was still absorbing the information. Spike had now truly reformed and had his own standing. From what I could gather he now had a purpose in life. He was no longer just in love with the slayer. He truly was his own man. That's what was different about him when he entered the house. That is why he seemed so much more……………… sober.

"So basically you turned into the bloody poof?" I was giggling. I knew the comment was immature but I felt like being a child for a moment.

"You know I would stake myself before that happens. Actually if that happens, please stake me Dawn. But I have my individuality. I am still all about the kicks and violence but only to fight the good fight. Not to piss off some guy's head, well, except the poof"

"So did you miss us?"

I seriously did not know where that came from. Actually I did. But I refused to acknowledge it until this man stepped on my doorstep. I had missed him. I knew Buffy had too. And when we came to know of his undeadedness we had tried to contact wolfram and hart. Apparently the Angel team had taken on the circle of the black thorn in an apocalypse. No one knew where they were. Whether they had survived or not? But 2 years later we got news that Angel had based his Angel Investigations in Cleveland. But they never called us and Buffy never called them. I think they had finally moved on from their past experiences. And I think they did. I was still 18 and wanted to see Spike. There were so many unresolved issues between us that needed to be cleared. But as time passed I got busier and I never got time to think about my past. I never forgot. I never will.

"Dawn, do you even need to ask? Of course I missed you all like crazy. Even the whelp. Met him in Africa while he was roundin up slayers. We crashed a few bars together too. Even met Faith. She seemed pretty tight with the principal. Whatever floats her boat. I even saw Red in Brazil. Had a great tan. She looked happy finally. Andrew as you know was yanking up in LA to collect the deranged slayer. Bloody hands got cut off. Anyway Buffy and you were the only ones I had not seen in 5 years. And you were ones I actually missed the most. You know I thought about you both every single night after the apocalypse in LA."

I think it was time for me to get British again as I was getting caught in the emotions. I knew Spike had missed us but seeing him express his emotions was too much for me.

"So Spike, what could I treat to you to for dinner?" He knew I ignored his remark but he did not show it. He was Spike after all.

"Anything luv. As long as big sis does not make it" Yeah again with the smirking and grinning. But I laughed. It was the truth though. I was feeling hungry but I was also feeling apprehensive by the time. I knew Spike wanted to talk about the serious stuff but it was too much for me to take in for one night. So I got up and darted into the kitchen to make some pasta. But it was not long that Spike followed me.

"Need any help, pet?" He just moved around a few of the jars and seated himself on the counter. I remember him doing this when he came to visit mom and me. He would prop himself on the counter and listen to our banter. But I knew he secretly waited for Buffy to arrive. It was always Buffy. I was so lost in my reverie that Spike snapped his fingers in front of my face to bring me back to this dimension.

"Ello, Dawn, Earth to Mars. Thought I lost you for a moment pet"

"Spike its nothing. Just thinking about old times. Anyway Spike something is bothering me and I want to ask. So I will go ahead and ask you. Why haven't you called me by my nickname at all? I rather found it endearing". Ok again with the British deal. See I was nervous.

"Jus doesn't suit you now. Does it? Not a lil'bit anymore." Why does he not look me in the eye? He did this before with the hands. Are my eyes too scary or what? I was so caught up in observing his gestures that I neglected to hear what he was saying. So Dumb Dawn made an appearance.

"Huh? What? Sorry did not catch you."

"I said you are not a lil'bit anymore. You are all grown up and beautiful. So the name does not really go with the whole package," I think I am going to need a new hearing aid because I did not hear what I just heard. I know I am attractive and I have a nice figure. And yes I do have boys swooning over me. But Spike saying it is more of a revelation rather a compliment. I chose to keep quiet. I knew I would ruin the mood. But Spike was not quite finished.

"Luv, I still can't believe that you are 21. Its like this gorgeous woman just replaced my nibblet" He was now stroking my cheek with his palm. Just a graze and then he was back to tossing his apple. I did not know what to make of this statement. I had to say something.

"You don't look too bad yourself mister. Actually if I remember right you have never looked this beautiful and I really mean beautiful. And its not funny. You are one of the few men who……" I felt like touching his cheek but refrained myself from doing so. It would be too much. Spike could do it with panache but me; I would end up grazing it too hard making it look like an assault rather than a caress. But Spike gave me no time to do anything as he again wound his arms around my body and gave me a hug. But this one seemed more…..intimate.

"Luv, you know how to make a bloke's day. Thank you and I know you mean it. You always mean it." And then he drew back and laid a feather soft kiss to my forehead. And then left the kitchen. I think that was the right thing to do as I might have done something really stupid. I knew his gestures were very friendly but I could not ignore the feeling of warmth that kept creeping up whenever he caressed me, or hugged or when he kissed me on the forehead. I needed a boyfriend. FAST

Spike stayed in the living for the rest of my cooking. I think he needed to gather himself or maybe he just wanted to watch soccer. I laid out the table and went over and grabbed the remote from his hand and switched off the telly. I grasped his hand and led him to the dining table. Its layout was very simple yet elegant. I pulled out a chair for him and he sat down.

"Lets eat. I am starving."

After a few minutes into the dinner Spike spoke up again. But I was busy toying with my food.

"Dawn, the pasta is bloody great. So what is like being 21? What did you do all these years? I know watcher told me but I know you will make it sound much more interesting minus the bloody glass cleaning" He chuckled. So should I give him the long or the short of it? Well the short seems more appealing.

"Well after the Sunnydale event we moved to LA and stayed for a while with Angel. Then we decided to move to Rome. But everyone spread apart. It was inevitable. Buffy and I came to Rome to start over. We had our adjustments in the beginning but everything soon fell into place. I got into a very good school. I took up English Literature

And International Affairs. I was also learning a lot of languages. Buffy worked as a fashion consultant for a while but then she decided to head back to pavilion and help with the council. She would do occasional missions for them in return for hefty salaries. We were well settled. Buffy dated Pablo aka the Immortal but I knew it would never last. It did not. Then we heard about you and Angel. We tried to find you but all in vain. Then 2 years later we came to know about AI in Cleveland. But Angel never tried to call us so we also kept our distance. Buffy met Christian and they seemed to fit well together. They have been dating for a year and a half and she is still very happy with him. And I am now in college and taking life as it comes."

I was breathless by the time I finished. I was proud of how my life had shaped up till now and some of it I owed to the man sitting in front of me. I just felt like grasping him and telling him he still had a place in my heart and I had forgiven him. But all in due time. Spike seemed content with my explanation and he smiled again.

"Pet, let me take the plates to the kitchen. S'alright"

He took the plates and placed them in the kitchen. By the time he came back I had cleared the table and I was sitting on the couch that adorned the living room. Upon seeing Spike I patted the place beside me gesturing him to sit. This is was my chance of clearing things up. He came and sat beside me. But then I noticed his duster looked newer.

"Spike how come your duster looks newer than it looked in sunnydale, if that is even possible?"

"Oh! That was your sister's fault. Angel and I came to Rome to rescue Buffy from the soddin Immortal and that's when he bloody blew up our clothes. So the lady in the Rome branch of Wolfram and Hart bought me and Angel new dusters. Hence the newness."

"So……… what do you wanna do now? Do you wanna rest for a while if you are tired?"

Okay again I did not know what to tell him or ask him. So I opted to take the easy way out and space out for a while. I was awaiting his reaction. His face was tilted towards the side and he was looking at me as if to figure out what I was thinking. Then he spoke.

"No pet, creature of the night. Don't sleep during the night. If you know what I mean."

He flashed his trademark smirk. That comment did not make me uncomfortable at all. Nope. I was cool as a cucumber. Ok I wish these things were true. I remained quiet. An agonizing silence stretched between us. Spike was looking at my jeans and I was looking at the TV. This had never been the case between us. We always had something to talk. We were behaving like two estranged lovers meeting after a long time. It was not supposed to be uncomfortable between us. This situation was in total contrast to the hugs we had shared before.

"Spike, I am feeling a little tired. So I am just going to take a small nap. Why don't you watch some telly or you could rest in any one of the guest rooms on the right. Wake me up when Buffy comes. Ok?"

Spike just nodded his approval but before I could leave he got up and pressed a small kiss to my forehead and held my hands for a while.

"Sweet dreams, Dawn"

I think this time red flashed across my cheeks. I think the warmth that kept arising out of his touches was now making its way to my sensory effectors also. Ok time for me to go.

I gave him a smile and ventured into my room.

My room was one thing that I was truly proud of. It was entirely my design and my décor. The primary colors used were black and red which gave it a very romantic and sleek look. It was adorned with low lighting lamps and a chandelier and red satin sheets. The closet was mahogany with intricate detailing. This was one of the reasons I liked to spend a lot of time in my room. It helped me with my writing. Yeah I write in my pastime but just random thoughts and emotions. I did not want to be a big shot writer but I did like to write. I wonder what Spike would think of this. I knew he would be delighted. For him it would be like me following in his footsteps. That thought made me laugh. Yeah at one point in my life he was this God to me. He personified perfection to me. But that phase was long over. Once I realized it was a shallow fantasy I gave it up and stepped into reality. I was truly over my 'crush'. Especially when I came to know that Spike tried to rape Buffy he was the farthest from perfection. I truly hated him that summer when he was gone. I took all my likings of him and turned them into my objects of hatred. Buffy and I never talked about it again. And I vowed never to talk to Spike again.

And the day I saw him in our house I was infuriated. I gave him my well rehearsed fire speech and broke all contact from him. But it surprised me that Buffy for once was on his side even after what he did. I questioned her and she broke down. She told me all about the last year and how they both had destroyed each other. But Buffy admitted it was her fault more than his. I knew that moment that Buffy had forgiven Spike. Therefore I was in no position to hold a grudge against Spike. I think by the end of the year I had softened towards Spike but I never got a chance to tell him it was okay.

When he was gone I did miss him. I missed how he would light his cigarette, how he would cock his head to the side, the way he used his left hand for writing, how when he thought no one was looking he would sneak away with a book, how he would sometimes glance at me to acknowledge my presence. I did remember all that. I remember those 2 years when I was in England I had visited his old house and just stared at it. This was his origin, his roots. I remember whenever I heard a British accent my head would turn automatically just to make sure. When I came to know of his resurrection I was very excited but this news was followed by the apocalypse in LA with no survivors. He had now died twice in my memory. But this time it hurt even more. Though Buffy was involved with someone I could see the pain in her eyes. I think she had lost a friend too. With the news of AI in Cleveland we were again hopeful of Spike's return. But Angel or Spike never called us and we did not know what to do. So we also decided to give them time. And life got the better of us. But I still missed him. I always did.

And today he was in my apartment on my couch and all I did was answer his questions and ask mine. I had to talk to him about the things that had bugged me for 5 years. I just had to. But before leaving the room I picked up something from my dresser. I knew he would like it.

I crept out of my room and walked towards the couch. He was nowhere to be seen. I checked the kitchen and it was empty. So I guessed he must have gone to rest in the guest rooms. So should I disturb him or should I wait for him to come out? I knew once Buffy was here I would not get alone time with Spike. So it was now or never. Now it is.

I checked the first room but it was empty which followed the second room. So he had to be in the last room. That room had the best view and overlooked the entire city. No wonder when I walked into the room Spike was not on the bed. He was standing by the window with his back to me. I was just gazing at his silhouette. Yeah he had changed. I did not know why he did not notice me entering but now I was standing right behind him. I stood on tiptoes and whispered in his ears.

"Big Bad thinking of taking over Rome?"

And you know what he did? He just drew both my hands with his back to me and wrapped them around his waist with the picture frame in my hand. So now my front was totally pressed to his back. Yeah I was shocked as hell. I thought he would fling me back or just pounce on me or just lash out for a minute. But no. Just this intimate gesture.

"Not the city but maybe just this house"

And he took the frame out of my hands and gazed at the picture. He turned towards me. I drew back my hands and looked at him adoringly. He looked like a small boy when he was looking at the picture. I knew he was getting nostalgic.

"How? When? Where? Why?" Yeah Spike babbling. Yup, this was my lucky day. So I broke him out of his misery.

"Well I went for a 2 year course from school to England. There with the Watcher's Council Records I located the place and paid a visit. It was beautiful. So I had to take a picture. And here it is. Spike you must have been bloody rich!"

I knew things would get emotional so I had to tuck in that small comment in the end to just lighten things. Spike looked at the picture and then looked at me. And his eyes were filled with love and devotion. He was looking at me as if I had done a great thing and I had to be worshipped. So I started speaking with all my emotion in my eyes.

"Spike, please come and sit here." I sat down on the bed and patted the seat next to me.

He walked slowly towards the seat as if it was sacred or pious. I looked him in the eye and started.

"Spike please let me talk. And don't you dare interrupt me. I know people in the mafia.

Ok. Spike firstly I want to say I forgive you for everything. I am 21 today and much wiser and mature than I was 5 years ago. I now completely understand why you did whatever you did. Even though you were gone all these years I learnt more and more about you with each passing year. The reason was that I was now able to think back to all those times in Sunnydale. I could place myself in the other person's place and understand their point of view. Now I know why Anya became a vengeance demon again, why Willow lost control of her power, why Xander left Anya at the altar, why Giles left us when we needed him most, why Buffy cut herself off from us and why you tried to rape Buffy. We were all very confused at that time which led us to believe our actions were right. I don't blame you anymore or anyone else. But I would never take back those years either because they have made me what I am today. It is because of that time that today I can easily talk about those things to you. Secondly Spike my experience with fire is pretty bad so I would not have been able to set you on fire. I may have ended up burning everything else. So that was an empty threat. But I am very sorry about that. Even more than that I am sorry that the last year we totally spaced away. We never talked, never listened or looked eye to eye. I am sorry about that. But as you could see it was my year of being confused and a little angry. Thirdly and most importantly I want you to know that you are the third most important person in my life and I want you to forgive me."

I knew it was a big heart warming speech. But it was my personal confession and only Buffy knew all about this. Yeah we were best buds. But she understood everything as she went through this and worse. She told me I should become a psychologist. I wish.

Spike had been looking at me all the while. But this time he looked me in the eyes. He kept looking at me. I was getting restless. I could hold it no more.

"Spike?"

"Dawn, can I kiss you?"

"W-What?" Ok slow down. What the hell did he just say? I definitely need a new hearing aid. Before I could analyze further he spoke.

"Luv, don't fret. Just a friendly kiss to tell you how you mean to me. Please?" He was smiling and not grinning. This meant he was serious. So I nodded and he came forward and clutched both my cheeks with his hands and brushed his lips on my forehead. Then he moved to my nose where he planted a small peck. And then he looked at my lips and slowly and agonizingly just feathered his lips to mine. His lips just stayed there for a while and then he drew back still holding my cheeks. He was smiling again.

I thought that was the sweetest way of kissing anyone. It was not a lover kiss but it was a you-are-very-important-to-me-and-you-will-remain-in-my-heart-forever kind of kiss. Even then I had felt that Spike had meant much more than that. I can be a dreamer right?

"Um, Spike I was just wondering. No just leave it. Ok I know its silly but I still want to ask you. Why is it that you smile so much nowadays? You never smiled this much in Sunnydale even when Buffy was with you."

Spike started smiling again at my question and then answered.

"Dawn, I am just very happy and for once in my life I have a purpose and I have a goal. As you college kids say, I HAVE A LIFE"

He did seem very happy. But it surprised that the first place he chose in his happiness was the Summers House. This name had given him the worst years of his unlife. Then it dawned on me that it was after all the house of his love. The Love of his Unlife. Buffy Summers. And suddenly I wanted to ask.

"Spike, do you still love Buffy?"

I knew the answer before it came but I had to hear it. I had to confirm it. I had to know whether the love Spike had harbored for Buffy was still there.

"Yes"

It was a simple word and one letter more than 'no'. But Spike had chosen 'yes'. I knew he did but it still hurt just a little bit to know that Spike was here to get the girl. Not chat up with the girl's younger sister. But Spike had more to say.

"I still love Buffy with my all my unbeating heart. I would still do anything she would require me to do. But things change, people change and life goes on. Buffy moved on with her life and I went on with mine. You know why I never called you before? It was part of my healing process. I was moving on. It was bloody hard but you know me. I got through. So yeah I still love Buffy but I want different things in life now. And I am glad that she is finally happy and has found normal."

Spike was very calm and soulful when he said this. So basically he meant that he was not in love with Buffy anymore. So he was not here to romance the slayer. Maybe he did really want to meet us and just have a good time. I asked him another question that was now bugging me. Oops out it came.

"So can you love someone again like that?"

His eyes shot up. He was now looking at me. I felt embarrassed to ask such a personal question. I think he was weighing the question and try to answer it in the best way possible. But he kept looking at me as if I held all the answers to his puzzles.

"No"

This time he chose the word that I did not want to hear. I don't why but I felt bad that Spike still could not break away from the awe of Buffy and love another woman as much. So I guess he would always be Buffy's lovesick puppy.

Ugh………………

"But More. But with the right girl"

This time my head shot up. I looked directly into his eyes trying to assess how Spike had changed so much. He had the courage to love a woman more than he loved Buffy. Why was he not afraid of the same pain? Why did he not fear that he would not get the love in return? Why was he filled with love to give again and again? Why did Buffy give up such a man?

"Don't you worry. We will find you the perfect girl to love and I stress to BE LOVED. I know Buffy was a dumbass but another girl won't make the same mistake"

I was truly feeling strong emotions flowing through my system. I was feeling love just sitting here with him. But he just smiled.

"So third most important, eh? Got a bloke in your life pet?"

He was grinning ear to ear. He seemed like he had finally caught me doing something wrong. And he was trying to be very coy about it. But alas the truth was far from it. I had never seriously dated anyone before. Since my date experience in Sunnydale I had just had 2 boyfriends and they never got very serious. I think after living in Sunnydale for so long and experiencing so much a normal guy would never fit the bracket. I had seen guys of all variety with my sister and all of them were far from normal. So I could never be with a person who did not know about the real things going in the world. How could I tell my boyfriend that I was going on a mission to the Himalayas to capture a Schizanthus demon that has one eye and many legs with fire launchers along with my sister who was the slayer? No not happening. So I had left the matchmaking to the PTB and stopped dating officially for a while. I was enjoying myself with my sister and friends. And now this new arrival in my life had filled me somehow. I was finally at peace with all that had happened in Sunnydale. So I answered in the negative.

"No, fang boy. Mom and Buffy"

And now I had my right arm wrapped around his back resting on the other shoulder and lightly placed my head on his left shoulder. I just closed my eyes and tried to think of all the times I was happy. My first visual was mom laughing. Then I saw Buffy hugging me and smiling. And then I saw all the Scoobies happy and partying. Finally I saw Spike laying the feather light kiss on my lips. Suddenly I felt a hand creeping behind my back and pulling me closer. It was cool and strong. It was Spike. Abruptly I let him go and stood up facing him.

"How long are you staying?"

I wanted him to say as long as I want but I knew he had to go back. I had wanted to ask him this since the beginning. I wanted him to stay with us. I wanted him here. But he was just smiling and looking at me. I think he had sensed my emotional overdrive. And he took the words right out of my head.

"As long as you want, luv"

My lips curled up into a big smile and I went forward and hugged tightly him making him fall on the bed. I was still lying on top of him hugging him close. My eyes were closed. But I did not answer. I left it hanging in the air. I did not want to plan his exit now. It was the moment to enjoy. And I slid from his embrace and rolled on my side next to him. I was now facing him but he was lying flat on his back and facing the ceiling. And I had a sudden urge to ask him for something. It was something we had never done before but now seemed the perfect moment.

"Spike, can I sleep with you tonight? I-I mean can I just catch a few zzz's with you? Please"

My cheeks were flushed at my own choice of words. But Spike drew out his left arm and made space for me to lie on his side gripped by his left arm. I moved forward and lay myself near him. His arm snaked around my head in a caring gesture. I laid my head in the crook between his shoulder and elbow. And then my eyes were closed. I knew I would sleep peacefully tonight.

"Goodnight Spike"

"Goodnight Dawn"

I could feel the flecks of dust dancing on my face. The light sunshine was grazing my face lovingly. The light was not very bright but I knew it was morning. I recapped the past day's events. Spike had come. We went to get blood. We talked. We had dinner. I went back to my room. Then I came looking for him. I talked to him in the guest room. Then we both fell asleep. Now it was morning. Sunlight was beaming through the window.

OH MY GOD! My right hand shot out but there was no Spike. I jumped up from my bed. My mind had gone into overdrive. I could not see Spike in the room. There was no dust on the bed too. I felt a little relieved that Spike had not gone poof. But where was he? Maybe he left in the middle of the night. Maybe he had some work to do. I decided to go back to the main hall and check for Spike.

While walking through the corridor I stopped in my tracks. I could hear voices. One was a male and the other was a female. Spike and Buffy. I took a few steps forward and they came into view. Spike was sitting on the couch. Buffy was sitting on the coffee table in the front of Spike. They were holding hands. It reminded me of the time when Buffy had come back and Spike had held her hands to check her wounds. But the roles had been reversed. It was Spike who had come from the dead now. I did not know what to do.

Should I wait? Should I go in there? Should I just creep into my bedroom? I opted to wait.

I saw Buffy getting up and then fetching something from the kitchen. Spike watched her leaving. So he still found her attractive. Ok it was true. Buffy was 27 now but she still looked only about 22. Rome had treated her well and it reflected in her aura and her appearance. Her choice in wardrobe had also become subtle. She wore more pleasing and pastel shades. No more leather and tight apparels. She looked peaceful and Angelic. No pun intended. No wonder Spike still fancied her.

Spike was now alone in the living room. He was looking around when he suddenly jerked his head and looked straight at me. My heart jumped into my throat. He had smelt me. He kept looking at me as if encouraging me walk ahead. My feet started moving. I put my hands into the back pockets of my jeans and walked into the room. I propped myself into one of the bean bags. I was looking at Spike and Spike was looking at me. He was looking very cheery. He was the first to speak.

"Had a good sleep, luv?"

"Yeah. But waking up to find no one next to me and then anticipating a pile of dust was kinda a downer"

I was not glaring but I was not kidding also. I think my face was expressionless. I did want him to know that he had almost given me a heart attack in the morning.

"Luv, sorry bout that. Big sis came in early. Was bout to stake me. Had to bloody tackle her to convince her." He was grinning. That meant that he had fun 'tackling' Buffy. Well not my concern.

But I did not answer him back. I gave him a slight nod. I wanted to be 14 again and throw a big tantrum about him abandoning me in the night. Alas! I was 21. I understood that he was excited about meeting Buffy after such a long time but it still pinched a little. So I decided to get up. Before I could Buffy walked into the room with a mug in her hand. She handed it to Spike. Must be blood.

"Hey Dawnie. Sleep well? So this was the big surprise? Well I sure as hell was surprised. I walk into the guest room. My tingly senses go crazy. And what do I see? My sister sleeping next to a guy. Thank god Spike opened his eyes else he would be dust."

"Pity, one of your life dreams would have been fulfilled luv"

Leave it to Spike to joke about his death. He just had to squeeze in his little quip. He gave a small smirk. Buffy just gave him a look and then smiled. I gave a tight smile of my own. I was getting a little uncomfortable. 'Alone Spike' time was supposedly over.

"Those were the good old days." Buffy was getting nostalgic. I think this was due to Spike's presence.

"Don't know bout good pet, but they were one helluva days" We all smiled at that thought. I knew that no matter what had happened in Sunnydale none of us would ever trade those days for anything. They were our identity. It was after all my first home. Buffy turned to me.

"So Dawn, what did you guys do behind my back?"

I glanced at Spike. He was smiling. Maybe looking to see what I would say.

"Oh nothing much. Just catching up on old times. Right Spike?"

"Yeah Dawn. Slayer let me assure you there were no fire emergencies." He was smirking now. He was joking at my expense. This also meant he no longer felt bad about what I had said. Things had now cleared between us. I also gave him a quick grin and tossed a cushion at him. Buffy was smiling at our little interaction. I think this was the first time when we three were in the same room and none of us had any differences with each other. We were happy with each other's presence. Things had changed. And for the better. I decided to get up and get dressed.

"Excuse me, but I have some grooming to do."

And I walked into my bedroom without looking back. I knew they would be talking. They were at peace with each other. Buffy approved of him being here. And Spike was happy to spend time with us. I walked to my dresser and smiled at the half dozen pictures of my past. I picked up a frame with mom, Buffy and me. Suddenly a hand appeared on the frame from behind me. It grazed the picture with fingers over all the three faces.

"Three bloody best summers of my unlife"

I turned around and came face to face with blue eyes. When had he entered my room? And who gave him permission to enter my room? Ok that was not too bad but SPIKE was in MY ROOM!

"When did you come in here?" His eyes were now traveling around my room taking in the décor. I was getting a little nervous waiting for his judgement. I think I was almost holding my breath.

"Nice room pet. Something I would have definitely chosen." I let out the breath I had been holding. So he liked it. I knew he would but him saying it makes it much better.

"Well what can I say Spike. Great minds think alike" I was smirking at him. He smirked back.

"They do luv. They do."

"So Buffy ditched you or what?" That sounded a little too harsh but I had no chance to go back on my words as Spike was quick to answer.

"Actually big sis had a call from Watcher. Something bout a trip to Switzerland or something like that."

"Oh shit. I totally forgot about that."

"What luv?" I had started pacing the room. By now Spike was seated on the bed and was looking at me.

" Um, since my winter break is going on Giles had offered me to go to Switzerland and collect some ancient scrolls for him. I am supposed to leave tonight. And I have not even booked my flight or packed. Oh God!" I went to my closet and started dumping the clothes into a small bag. I did not even acknowledge the fact that Spike was sitting in the same room watching me comically. I finally zipped the bag shut and then turned to face Spike. Buffy made her entry into the room. She looked at Spike. Then she looked at me.

"Dawn, Giles called. He has booked the flight for you. You are leaving in the evening."

"Ok, I am packed. Just tell me the flight details and I will be off."

"Not that fast Dawn. You can't go alone. I know you are 21 but you are still my sister and I will not let you leave unsupervised"

"Oh come on 'Mom', I have traveled alone so many times. Don't push it. And who the hell will go with me? You have that whole weekend plan with Christian. Andrew is in LA. Xander and Willow are away in Brazil. And if you send me with any one of the potentials I am seriously going to be bored to death"

I could hear Spike chuckle in the background. He was really enjoying this. I looked at him and gave him a glare and so did Buffy. His face straightened. He was totally whipped. Buffy turned back to me.

"Why don't you take one of your friends? You guys can enjoy yourselves. Giles is even ready to give the council credit cards for your shopping needs."

"All my friends are away with their families and their boyfriends. As you can see my family is preoccupied right now and I don't have time to find a boyfriend. So I guess I go alone. Ha!"

"I could take her"

My head shot towards the left. Buffy had also turned her head towards the same direction. Spike was looking at us with a hopeful gesture. I did not know how to react to this new situation. Screw that. I was hoping that Buffy would agree and let me go with Spike.

"You know I am here for a few weeks. I have no work. The soddin poof is also on a vacation. So I guess if you don't mind I could take Dawn"

I was now looking at Buffy who was looking at Spike to ascertain his statement. Then she looked down.

"Buffy?"

She looked at me. I gave her my best puppy dog look. And then she smiled at Spike. Yeah she was also whipped.

"Yeah, you can take her"

"Don't worry, I will take care of her. Not even a bleedin scratch will-"

"I know you will" Buffy was looking at Spike so earnestly. She really meant it and he knew it. Yes they had grown up. They were finally at peace with each other. The atmosphere was becoming a little tense. So Dawn to the rescue.

"Hey, hey adult here. I can bloody take care of myself. No vampire bodyguards required"

Both of them looked at me with a 'are you kidding me' expression. I give up. I gave a long sigh.

"Tough crowd. Come on Spike lets get your stuff from the car"

Spike got up from the bed and walked outside the room passing Buffy. I also followed him but stopped to hug Buffy and mouthed a thanks to her. Buffy just left me with a lingering smile. I trotted out into the living room following Spike. I was walking behind him while descending the stairs. Spike was humming a tune.

"Spike?" He turned around to look at me.

"Are you okay with this?"

"Wouldn't have suggested it if I wasn't okay with it." He gave me a small smile.

"Okay"

"Come on. We will have a good time. Just the two of us" he was standing in front of his viper. I was still stuck to my position a few feet away from him. OH GOD! It finally registered with me that I was going to be alone with Spike for 4 days. I was looking forward to it but I was also not looking forward to it. I still had these new little feelings creeping up concerning Spike. And I was concerned about these feelings. But then suddenly something else registered with me. Spike was walking in broad daylight and he did not go poof. In a reflex action I walked towards him and pushed him onto the car seat to shield him from the light. I also fell on him due to the impact.

"Spike! Watch out" I was lying on top of him with my hands on either side of his face. Then I looked at him.

"Why didn't you dust?" I was still lying on top of him and I was quite oblivious to that fact. But Spike had noticed and was grinning.

"Pet, not that I mind but why don't you get up" he held my arms and softly helped me get up. I was now up and out of the car. He also got up. I was still staring at him. Why did he not dust?

"But how……."

"Dawn. Don't worry I wont die……….again. A small gift Angel gave me. Some witches did some mojo and now the poof and I can walk in the sun. I have been walking in the sun for two years now. Can say I am almost human now except for the blood craving."

I was pleasantly surprised to hear that piece of information. So now I could go on the beach with Spike. And I could I mean Buffy and I could go with him anywhere in the morning. It was a bloody revelation.

"So you guarantee me a visit to the beach someday?"

"You have my word, luv"

I answered him with one of my most brilliant smiles which he in turn answered with a small smile of his own. He got back to attending to his luggage. I was watching him intently. It had been 5 years but he looked almost the same. Maybe a little healthier. His body moved the same way. His hair was actually less of platinum blonde and more blonde. Little bit of curls were present but the hair was mussed. His wardrobe was pretty much the same but he did have some denim jackets and dark blue jeans which were peeking out of the zipper of his bag. Suddenly my eyes went dark and I could not see anything. Then this light appeared and I could see a small scene in front of me. In the flash there was a couple in a subway standing on either sides of a pole. Their faces were hidden. But it seemed like they were kissing and probably making out. Then the head became a little clearer and I could see a blonde one and a brunette. OH MY GOD!

Spike and Me.

Then my eyes went back to black and I felt a shoulder on my hand. It was cool. Suddenly my eyes opened and I could see Spike standing in front of me with a worried expression on his face. His hand was holding my shoulder.

"Dawn? Dawn! Bloody hell!"

"Uh… What?"

"What the hell happened? You were just standing here with your eyes closed doing nothing." He seemed very concerned. But I was beyond embarrassed to think about that.

My mind went back to the flash. My cheeks were red. What the hell was that?

Ok here is the deal. When the Sunnydale fiasco was over we all moved on with our lives. We moved to Rome and life was normal……..kinda. Exactly one year after doom's day I was looking through the refrigerator when my eyes suddenly went black and this white light appeared and I saw a scene playing before me. I saw Buffy gifting me a new pair of boots. They were made of leather and brown in color. My eyes turned black again. And my vision returned to normal. I was extremely spooked by this. But I decided to leave it be. I did not want to worry anyone with just one year passing of the hellmath. Surprisingly after 5 days Buffy came home very excited. She opened a bag and gave me the same pair of boots which I had seen in my vision. I was speechless. But I still refused to make a thing of it. Nothing happened for a year and I was glad I had told no one about it. It was just a one time thing. But a year later while in school I had a similar flash but the scene was that Xander would spill coffee on my shirt. And I regained my normal vision. I felt very scared that the visions had returned. The funny thing was that Xander was in Argentina and there was no news of him coming. So I thought that I had finally gone carrot top. But after 3 days I answered the doorbell. And there was Xander standing at the door. I was surprised as hell. Now I knew my vision would come true. But I somehow managed to stay away from Xan for 2 days. I did not want my vision to come true just to prove that I had no special talent. I had already had enough of that in Sunnyhell. I had just finished school day. I was walking down the corridor and I bumped into someone. That someone turned out to be Xan. And there was a spilt coffee cup on the floor. My shirt was totally drenched. I looked up at Xan and gave a nervous laugh. He had come to pick me up from school. Then the frequency of the visions or premonitions increased. I started having them once in 6 months and then once in 3 months. And everything always happened as much as I tried to avoid it. I knew I had to tell Buffy. I told Buffy all about it. Giles came to Rome and researched the matter. The conclusion drawn was that the closing of the hellmouth had left this power in me. As I was once the key I had to deal with the consequences of the closing of the supreme hellmouth of all. And so I had these visions of very small things once every month. Though I was no longer spooked or wigged about it, it still surprised me everytime. Atleast these powers were not causing any damage to me. I just got a small glimpse into the future. It was kinda cool. I felt like the Charmed sisters.

Zoning back to the present I reflected back to my vision of Spike and me. Why the hell was that in the future? Why would Spike kiss me of all people? What did it mean? He would never even look at me that way. How the hell would he make out with me? But I knew it was inevitable and that thought pleased me oddly. I was flushed and puzzled at the same time. But I had to answer Spike or else he would do something drastic.

"N-Nothing Spike. Just zoned out for a bit. No worries." I hoped that was convincing enough. I think Spike bought it though.

"No bloody worries my ass. I was going to pick you up and parade upto big sis."

"Pity. I should have zoned out for a bit longer" what the hell was that? Did I just flirt with him? No way. Okay maybe I did. So what. It was just friendly banter. Yeah friendly flirt. What else?

But Spike just looked at me with a slight grin. Then he held his bag and moved towards me. I was about to turn around to walk with him when he dropped the bag. He drew his hands forward and placed one behind my back and the other under my knees and then lifted me. He scooped me into his arms. He gave a small jump and then picked up his bag. Then he started walking up the stairs. But he did not look at me. He was just looking ahead. He had a small smile but nothing more. As for me. I was just thinking WHAT THE BLEEDIN FREAKIN SODDIN BLOODY HELL WAS THAT? My hands had voluntarily gone around his neck for support. Picasso could have dipped his brush on my skin for the red color cause I had turned the darkest shade of red possible. This was unlike Spike. He would never show me affection like this. Maybe a hug or a peck but this was too romantic for my good. Through my thought process we had reached the apartment. We were in the living room. Then he looked at me.

"Could have just asked if you wanted"

"Huh?" yeah Huh. So the most intelligent reply of the year award goes to Dawn Summers aka Dunce Summers. He lightly placed me on the ground. I unwillingly let go of his neck and regained my balance. He walked away with the bag and propped himself on the sofa. He started looking for the remote and finding it turned on the TV. He did not even look at me. I was still in the HUH! Phase. I had to sort out these feeling in my head before heading to Switzerland. The place where romance blossomed. Better hurry.

"Spike. I will just shower. I think we can have our lunch and then we can leave in a couple of hours after that."

He just nodded his head in reply. I gave a long sigh and walked into my bedroom. Suddenly Buffy 's voice echoed in the room.

"You back?"

"Yeah"

"So shower and then we can lunch. I will leave you guys at the airport early after lunch."

"Sure. Buff did you know that Spike and Angel got rid of the sun allergy?"

"Yeah, Spike told me in the morning. I was surprised. But maybe now they can have a semi-normal life and then settle down"

"So is it okay if they date a non vampire now?"

"Yeah I guess they can. I know them both well enough to know that they are good guys. And they have a right to a happy life. I sincerely hope they find true happiness." Her answer oddly comforted me.

"Not Angel though or we might have to stake him" His baritone voice echoed through the room. How could he resist mocking Angel any opportunity he got? Buffy and I both looked towards the door. He was leaning on the door with a crooked grin on his face. He gave me a small glance and turned to Buffy.

"On second thoughts I wish him all the happiness in the world" And he gave a small chuckle. Buffy and I shared a grin. But now I had to shut them both out to figure out the things on my mind.

"Okay enough with the bonding. I need some privacy to shower and change. So Ciao for now." I pushed Buffy out past Spike. Then I pointed at Spike and gestured for him to go out. He gave a sly smile and moved out. I moved to the door and with a final look at Spike's back I closed the door. It was time to do some thinking.

Ok I had a crush on Spike when I was 14. Despite the fact that the following year he totally neglected me I had missed him and longed for his company. Knowing about the attempted rape I buried all my feelings and let the hatred crop up. But I think I was even more angry that he never even said a goodbye. With his return my emotions had also returned but I let the anger take over. With time my emotions softened but I never got an opportunity to set things right. But all this time I had longed for the comfort and security he would provide me. I think he was my best friend then. But I had never harbored any feelings other than friendship because I knew there was no future. Also he was madly in love with buffy. When Spike arrived at that door a thunderbolt struck me. Now those feelings were taking a stronger standing. They were coming back with a vengeance. And unfortunately they were stronger than ever. Maybe it was due to the fact that I was older and now eligible to feel more things for Spike. Maybe it was due to the fact that Spike was over Buffy. I knew I loved Spike. He was like family to me. But now those feelings had transformed themselves into something else. Yes I was attracted to spike. Any woman with optic vision would be. I did long for his touches or glances or smiles. But was it still a crush? No, it more meaningful than that. And in my heart I was not afraid to just let the PTB do their thing if this was what they were planning. I would go along with the flow of my emotions if the PTB wanted it. But I still had to be cool around Spike. If the powers wished it, it would happen. Yeah that's it. There was hope…………atleast from my side. Spike did seem all flirty with the carrying incident. But it could have been nothing for him. He was just messing with me. What about the hugs and the kiss? He was just overwhelmed to see me. But he did notice that I was a full-grown woman. I was older than when buffy was when Spike fell in love with her. So ………….

Or maybe he just Buffy in me. He may be over Buffy but he could never be over the persona of Buffy. So if not the real thing maybe the runner up prize. Maybe I would prove to be a Buffy substitute.

No. The one thing that had first made me like Spike was that he treated me as my own person. Not as someone's sister or not as someone's daughter. But as a teenager who was struggling between childhood and adulthood. He knew that the one thing that hurt me the most was when someone compared me to Buffy. I am not Buffy and I can never be Buffy. Spike knew that. And I appreciated him for that. To him I was Dawn Summers aka the nibblet, teenager feeling left out trying to make good with the big bad. I knew for a fact that Spike would never associate me with Buffy.

There were still many things to figure out but more thinking always led to over-analysis which led to false assumptions and misconceptions. So I immediately stripped and got into the shower. With the bath finished I ransacked the remaining clothes in the wardrobe to find an appropriate outfit. Agreeing with a simple low-hung jeans and a tank top with a jacket I carried my suitcase outside my room.

When I reached the living room there was no one there but I could hear noises from the kitchen. Placing my suitcase next to Spike's bag I walked into the kitchen. Buffy was attempting to cook something in a bowl and Spike was standing next to her. He was helping her with her cooking. I stood at the door watching them. They looked so happy. Spike tossed a cabbage at Buffy. Buffy retaliated by throwing a dirty cloth at him. I turned around and walked back into the living room. No one had noticed me or smelled me in Spike's case. I propped myself on the couch with my hands in my lap. I had felt like an outsider when I had looked at them in the morning and now in the kitchen. I felt I did not belong there. Maybe the feelings I was having were just mine. Maybe I had already had a misconception. I buried my face in my hands. Then I raised my head and turned to my left to look for the remote.

"WHAT THE HELL!"

There he was sitting right next to me on the couch and I had not even felt him. He had almost given me a heart attack with his appearing act. He gave a small chuckle.

"You scared the hell out of me spike. Don't ever do that again. I know you are big with the mysterious exits and entrances but save it for the bad guys"

"Why didn't you come inside?" Had he smelt me?

"What?"

"Why didn't you come inside the stupid kitchen, luv? Caught a whiff of you but you never stepped in." BINGO he had smelt me.

"Oh nothing. Just felt a little tired. I just wanted to come and sit on the couch for a while. Nothing more. Ok?"

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Nothing its just I think you are lying, pet."

"So you a human lie detector now?"

"Actually I am. I can tell whether a person lying or saying the truth, generally"

"Well maybe your wiring is a little messed up cause I did not lie. I really did feel like coming back and resting." Whoa he was getting on my nerves now. Why the hell was he so bothered now?

"Maybe"

"I am fine Spike. Its just been a hectic day with the visio- uhh the visit by you and then this trip to Swiz. Don't worry. Go help Buffy with the lunch and we should get going, eh?" I gave him a small smile. He had been concerned. I had to assure him that all was fine.

"Better idea. Spike sit with Dawn. I will just set the table. And the burnt delicacy will arrive soon." Buffy's voice filled the entire living room. When had she come? I had been so wrapped up in lying that I never noticed her coming. Spike too had not sensed her. She then returned back to the kitchen. My head turned back looking forward towards the wall. Spike was sitting right next to me. But I knew he was looking at me. Maybe he was still trying to figure me out. Then his hand reached out and caught a lock of hair and started twirling it. This made me look at him. He was still looking at my hair as a fascinating piece of work. I grasped his hand with my left hand and caressed. Now he looked up at me. He was looking straight into my eyes. I was trying to do the same but I thought the dept would swallow. Yeah poetic right but it was true.

"I am sorry about the crankiness. Its just this Swiz trip has me all worked up. Its actually my first official mission alone well kinda." Our hands were still clasped but then Spike brought them down together and laid them on his lap.

"Hey, no apologizing anymore. We have had our bleedin share. And I told we will fun. Don't worry. We'll get those bloody scrolls and shove them onto the watcher's table."

I gave him a small smile which he returned.

"Thank you Mr. Nancy Boy. I'll call Angel and tell him that his grandson's following well in his footsteps." With this final comment I decided to run away from the couch. But Spike's hand caught me in mid flight and flung me on the sofa and pinned my hands down beside. He was now on top of me grinning.

"You take that back luv"

"Over your dead body"

"Its as much fun underneath luv" And his face froze. His grin faded. My cheeks had turned new shades of red. He suddenly pulled away and sat up straight. I was still assessing the situation and then I also rose up.

"I am sorry. I didn't realize…….." He looked ashamed. It was as if he was embarrassed about what he had done.

"What the hell Spike? It was spur of the moment thing. J-Just a joke. As if am not known to your innuendos. Please don't say sorry for this." I was looking at him. He was looking straight ahead. After some time he looked at me. I gave him a small smile. He did not respond for a moment but then his lips curled into a loving smile. My small smile brightened up. Thank God the situation was no longer awkward. It was funny how we were tethering from comfortable to awkward again and again. I got up from the sofa.

"Come Spike. I think the food is burnt and ready." We both moved into the dining room where all the plates had been laid out and Buffy was just walking out of the kitchen with a big bowl. We got seated and ate our lunch. Spike had his blood and he tasted some of the food. We gave our thumbs up though Buffy made her drinking face after tasting her first morsel. We had a good laugh and finished eating.


	2. Chapter 2

To help in imagining the story I will now provide a link to pics. These pics will denote the particular place or location or person I may try to depict in my story. I feel it makes the reading experience more enjoyable.

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	3. Chapter 3

"I think we should go unless you wanna face the wrath of Mr. Giles"

"Yeah no Giles wrath. Just let me get my bags."

With a final look at Buffy I ran into my room to pick my luggage. Yeah I was possibly embarking on the most amazing journey of my life or the most misconception-filled-mixed-feelings-misunderstanding-heart-breaking journey of my life. And they said that teenage life was hell. With my bags in my hands I walked back into the living room with as much determination as I could muster.

I couldn't help but look at Spike looking cool as a cucumber. Well he was scientifically cool as he was a blood-sucking vampire but that was besides the point. He looked unfazed and well…….. normal (as much was possible). He was looking at something outside the window. He standing sideways to me so I could see his profile. He continued looking out. And I continued looking at him. I swear I could watch him all day and never get tired. Oh god help me. I should stop talking like this. Was what I was feeling unhealthy? Nah I just had eyes, a heart and two XX chromosomes and this was their reflex action. Weirdly the nape of hair at the lower end of his neck was extremely attractive. It just kinda waited to be drowned with fingers caressing it lovingly. Wow an ideal mind is definitely a devil's workshop. I was having second thoughts about this trip. Maybe one of the cheery potentials could do it. Or maybe Buffy could go with Christian on a vacation mission. Or we may not need those scrolls so urgently. What could possibly happen? An apocalypse? Hah piece of cake. We have had enough to waltz through it. Yeah maybe I could call-off this whole trip. Great idea.

"So luv, ready to go?"

"Yeah. Can't wait. Lets go."

I am officially screwed. What am I a puppy dog. He asks me with those pools of blue and I wag my tail like a loyal pet. Well maybe there is no other way around it but to go and get it over with.

We all walked out of the house and made our way down the stairs. Spike offered to carry my bag but I refused. The reason being that I would smell that stupid bag for the rest of my life because it was held by spike. Ok big time infatuation. Buffy was walking ahead of us with the keys twirling in her fingers.

"Seeing her like this you can never guess what the bleedin hell she has been through." Spike had now positioned himself along my side and his comment came almost as a whisper for it was meant to be for me. He gave a small glance and looked back at Buffy with a smile.

"She is strong Spike and she knows that she has to move on from the things in her past to become a complete Buffy. So yeah she is happy."

"So Christian really that good a bloke, eh?" I gave Spike a look but he just looked amused as if he had been expecting that reaction from me. maybe even his comment was intentional. Or maybe I was becoming too much of an assumption girl. I chose not to say anything and walked ahead. I put my bags in the trunk and Spike followed my example. Buffy had already seated herself in the front seat. As far as cars were concerned Buffy really did not have a taste. She chose an SUV with three rows of seats and enough room to fit in as many people as possible. She went with utility and not with a little glamour. Buffy was all about style where her appearance was concerned but as far cars went she went for the more durable and useful. Maybe because a car was like a weapon to her just like her stakes where looks ran far behind the utility. Also Christian had made her pick out the car which seeing Christian was very predictable.

I was now sitting on the back seat as I had presumed that Spike would like to sit in the front seat next to Buffy. But it came as a total surprise when he came and sat not with Buffy, not with me but the seat behind me. So now all three of us were sitting in three different rows behind each other. I looked back at Spike and he just gave me a grin. My face though was expressionless. What was he playing at here?

"So we planning to occupy the entire vehicle?"

Buffy's voice made me turn my head around and face the owner of the voice.

"Ask Spike. I just got to the second seat."

But both of them chose to ignore my comment and Buffy revved up the car and we were on our way to the airport. For the first 5 minutes I tried to ignore the fact that Spike was right behind me but the wait got the better of me. I turned myself around on the seat and now I was facing him. He was looking outside but when he saw me turn he also gave his attention to me. I continued looking at him in an amused manner. He raised an eyebrow questioningly. I gave a short chuckle.

"About our earlier conversation yeah Christian is good looking. You know Buffy only dates hot guys." But I said my last sentence while looking elsewhere but at the vampire himself. I looked back at him after a beat and he had most mischievous grin on his face.

"Hot guys?" His question was accompanied by his trademark eyebrow shooting up and a smirk lighting up his face. But he did not realise he was playing with Dawn Summers.

"Yeah like Parker, Angel and Riley. Well maybe Riley wasn't that hot but yeah he was salty goodness to some extent. They get full marks from me in the looks department." And now a grin marked my face.

"Aren't you forgetting someone luv?"

"I think I remember all the good looking ones" And with a final grin I turned and settled down on my seat. The closing expression on Spike's face was priceless. Presumably Buffy was so busy with the road that she failed to notice this exchange between me and Spike.

"Buffy, how long?"

"Uh I hate Roman Roads. Oh Dawn, yeah, about 10 minutes more."

"Buffy you hate all roads."

"Yeah, but Romans drive me crazy."

"Like the Christian bloke eh?" Buffy looked through her rear-view mirror. I looked back. We both had questioning glances. But no one said anything. Within a few minutes we reached the departure terminals. Spike and I collected our bags and stood at the entrance. Buffy had to leave soon so she had to say her goodbyes now. I and Spike were standing a little apart but side by side. Buffy came forward and gave me a big hug. My arms automatically went around her petite form.

"Dawnie, take care. Ok? And no hanky panky. And and I am very proud of you. I love you sweetie." She had retracted her arms and was now looking at me. She wasn't crying but she was sad.

"Chill Buffy. Enjoy yourself with Chris and send me a postcard. And don't worry Spike is here. What is he here for? And one more thing hanky-panky?" Buffy just smiled at me. Then she turned to Spike.

Spike drew his hand forward to shake hers. Buffy grasped his hand but instead of shaking it slowly drew it aside and gave him a warm hug. She looked so small in his embrace. Spike's hands willingly went around her form in a loving gesture. He still did love her and he would till the end of the world. This thought left me a little blank. But I couldn't help smiling at the picture before me. Who would have thought they could share such a loving embrace 5 years ago? Buffy said something to Spike which I could not decipher. But it made Spike smile and he looked at me for a second. Then Buffy drew back with a smile on her face too.

"I think you guys should leave now before I stop you."

"Bye Buff. Love you."

"Bye Buffy."

"Bye guys." With these final words Buffy turned around and headed towards her car. I gave a last look at Buffy's back and then looked at my partner in crime. He had also been smiling at Buffy's retreating form. Then he looked at me.

"After you Madame."

"Very funny Spike."

"I aim to please pet" We had already starting moving towards the check-in counter. We were walking side by side with our banter continuing. The lady at the counter gave me a smile and took my tickets. We did not have much luggage. Just three bags including Spike's. While the lady was examining our tickets I turned back to Spike.

"You do know you are annoying right?"

"Don't you love it?"

"Its very charming. Something I do look for in a man……" I was too embarrassed to continue. I wanted to be sarcastic but it came out all wrong. It sounded as if I was hinting at Spike. But he looked unnerved. Bloody idiot how does he do that?

"So no soddin boyfriend?"

"I told you there is no one. Hasn't been for a long time. Happy?"

"Plenty. So you have been behaving yourself. I am sure big sis had no trouble raisin you." So he thinks I am just a good girl? Who the freakin hell does he think he is? Ok well I was a good girl but he had no right to point that out. It was as if he was crossing me out as a likely candidate. He had always had a thing for girls with dark pasts including Buffy. I would not be rejected like this.

"What do you know, I could have been fooling around like a maniac with every guy in Rome?" I gave him my best bad girl eyebrow raise. But he just grinned. I felt flat. But I was saved by the check-in lady.

"Mam, your boarding passes. Have a good flight. Ciao." I gave her a small smile. Spike and I turned around and went for the security check. Spike gave me a small wink before moving to the male section for checking. After the whole ordeal we collected our bags and went to the waiting lounge. We both sat down. For a while none of us said anything. Then I asked him what had been troubling for some time.

"What did she tell you?"

"Who?"

"Buffy. What did she tell you when she hugged you?" A smirk playing around on his face.

"Well its bloody private."

"Bloody private my ass!"

"Yes it is."

"What! My ass?"

"No. I mean yes. Bugger!" I was having the time of my life. I did not point attention to my butt but I was curious to know what Buffy had told him. My eyes turned soft. And my tone became more subtle.

"Spike I will not ask you again. If you wanna tell me you can. If you don't its alright." I could see Spike would not tell me. God this was so frustrating. What the hell did my sister tell the object of my affection that made him look up at me and smile for a second? Oh well the time will come.

"About that fooling around luv, I hope its not true. Because it would take a while to rip the throats of the entire male population of Rome." I gave a small chuckle.

"What do you think?" His playful face turned soft. His right hand came forward and he slipped a curl of hair behind my ear.

"I think you are an angel pet. Lots of goodness and a little darkness all blended together to give an ethereal beauty. Pure yet tainted. Innocent yet wicked. You are the right mix." My face was automatically graced with a smile. I held Spike's hand which was resting on my right cheek. It was cold.

"Now I know the cold offers the most warmth. Ironical." He looked lovingly at me. Spike took away his hand. His touching was comforting.

"But luv you do know that I will have to rip the throat out of the next bloke you hook up with."

"Sir yes sir!" We both shared a laugh.

"Boarding call for passengers travelling by flight SC1233 to Zurich, Switzerland at gate number 5."

Spike and I both got up and started moving towards the gate.

"I might just pick up a cute guy in Switzerland."

"I hope you are carrying good cash."

"Why?"

"To bail me out of the prison hole after I drink the guy dry."

"You know I am having second thoughts about this trip with you."

"That is why they are bleedin second thoughts."

And this was the way we moved into the aerobridge. I think I really enjoyed our little playful banter but sometimes there would be such awkward moments that I regretted getting attracted to Spike that way. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. Surprisingly we moved quite quietly once we were into the plane. FYI we were in First Class. I was moving ahead of Spike and he was following close behind. I had gotten a window seat and Spike was right next to me. Spike took my bag and put it in the overhead compartment. I seated myself next to the window. Eventually Spike also made his way down and sat down next to me.

"So the journey to hell officially begins."

"Yeah I know, I have been having nightmares."

"Well luv, thank your lucky stars that I am here with you."

"Are you?" my tone had become a little serious. He kept saying all these mean things about the trip. I was a little agitated. I had a sour expression on my face. Spike also got a little concerned. This made me soften a little bit.

"Look Spike you were the one who volunteered to baby-sit me. So don't whine now. Ok?"

"Hey! Am not whining. As far as the baby-sitting goes you are too bloody grown up for that."

"Thank you for acknowledging the fact that I am atleast grown up." The stewardess passed by asking if I needed anything. Yeah I needed a bloody u-turn to this trip.

"Um I'd like a coke please. And nothing for the gentlemen please. Thank you."

"How the bloody hell do you figure that I don't want anything?"

"You were just annoying me to bits so no drink for you. Now please lets get through rest of the trip without ripping each other's throats."

"No talking then."

"Fine by me. Actually a big relief. But wont it be difficult for you?" And he gifted me a big glare. I scoffed and turned my head towards the window. A while later my coke arrived.


	4. Chapter 4

I and Spike had not talked to each other in 2 hrs now. We were already 3 hrs into our flight time. Luckily we had found a direct flight to Zurich. It was just constant 18 hrs of flight time for us. Since our little fight Spike had been listening to music. But I had noticed that he had left his seat 20 minutes ago. He was still not back. Maybe he was sitting somewhere else. He wouldn't do that would he? I peeked my head out of the seats and looked around to catch a flash of blonde. He was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he got locked in the restroom. But why would he go there in the first place? I needed to check it out.

I got up from my seat and started walking down the aisle. While walking my eyes went around the various people sitting in the seats. I saw a young couple embracing and kissing. My mind went back to the vision I had had of Spike kissing me. I had not really had time to process the thought of the kiss. And I knew it would come true no matter what. But under what circumstances would Spike even kiss me like that? Definitely life-threatening circumstances. Maybe I was going to be sacrificed and I had to kiss him in order to save myself. Or maybe I had to kiss him in order to save the world from a fire-breathing dragon. Probably not likely. I was so busy thinking that I bumped into someone. A man. Medium built. He had dropped his magazine. I bent down to pick it up for him.

"Uh, I am sorry. I wasn't looking." And I stood up to give the owner the magazine.

"S'alright. Thinking too bloody much." Yeah who else could it be? The know and be all Spike. I just gave a shrug and handed him the magazine. Then I headed back to my seat. I sat down. In a second Spike was right next to me. He wasn't looking at him but his attention was on me. I was looking at the television in front me. They were showing a show in which the hero looked a lot like Angel and incidentally his name was also Angel.

"Did you want something?" I turned my head around to look at him. He looked kinda tired.

"Why?"

"Then why were jacked out of your seat luv?" So we were now on pet name basis.

"Not looking for you." He gave a small laugh. I gave him a glare.

"Missed me Dawn?"

"You wish! I was just uh…er… I was just looking for the stewardess."

"What is this button for sweet?" he pointed to the button above us for issuing assistance. I just looked back at him.

"It wasn't working. Ok Fine I was looking for you. Are you happy now?"

"Actually a little flattered."

"Don't do that."

"What luv?"

"Blow up your ego." And now I had a small grin on my face. Spike also understood the jest in my tone and gave me a small smile.

"Are we ok Dawn?" I took a little time to answer but the answer was perfect.

"Aren't we always." It wasn't a question but a fact. A fact of my life. A fact of his life. A fact of our life. Spike looked lovingly at me. Suddenly he got an innocent boy look on his face.

"Can I get that drink now?"

"Sure." And he reached up and pressed the button to call the stewardess.

"Hey Spike, this guy looks just like Angel."

"What do you know, the bloody poof has his own identical twin."

"And he acts like him too."

"So I guess the show will be off air very soon." And we both shared a small giggle. Well Spike would not giggle but he chuckled. And then Spike got his drink. He promised he would not take anything very strong. Just something to numb the pain of seeing

Angel again.

It was 10 hours into the journey. It was dark outside. I had fallen asleep for sometime. I opened my eyes to find the lights shut off and most of the people had dozed off. To my right Spike was also sleeping. His head was slightly bent to my side. my right hand went forward and slightly touched the tip of his hair. It was extremely smooth. I plunged just a little more deeper which earned me a slight sigh from Spike. I was scared for a moment that he had woken up. But he did nothing more and my hands were frozen in his hair. My hand then traveled to the tip of his nose. I just caressed the tip with my forefinger. My eyes went to his face. If his eyes were open at this instance I would never be able to do the things I was doing. It was as if when he closed his eyes it was darkness and I could anything in the loss of light. But when his eyes were open there was light all around and my actions were not shrouded. And so I could not do what my heart desired. So even I was a creature of the darkness. Ok maybe this was just a sucky analogy like Buffy's cookie speech. I retracted my hands. I returned to my earlier position. I decided to watch an episode of Friends. Atleast that was less complicated.

An hour ago Spike had woken up and gone to the restroom to drink his blood. Ok yeah he couldn't drink it in the plane with all the passengers watching. And he needed his daily nourishment of plasma. I was reading a novelette. Spike came back and sat down. I gave him a small smile and returned to my book. I was deep into the context of my book. It actually dealt with history of Palestine and Israel.

"Find someone." I was jerked a little by the voice. I looked at him with a quizzical expression.

"What?"

"That's what she told me."

"Who?"

"Buffy."

"What? I don't get it…………oh."

"Yeah luv."

"That's what I have been dying to know?" Spike nodded his head. And now when I was totally comprehending the situation my mind flashed to the moment when he had looked up at me when he was hugging Buffy. This is why he looked at me? This came as a total shock to me. I pretended to return back to my book. But my mind was still thinking about the line. 'Find someone.'

The announcement on the microphone said that we would be landing in another 45 minutes. The flight had passed quite uneventfully after our last conversation. I was still a little surprised by the last bit of information I had gotten. There were so many things muddling up in my mind that I could not think or act straight. So I had just decided to sleep through the next few hours of the flight. I had gotten up and found a blanket over me which had been laid by Spike. He had been watching some movie on the telly screen. I had some orange juice and now we were sitting waiting in our seats to land. Spike was sitting near the window now. He was looking out at the view outside the window. We had just starting descending a little bit. Spike ushered me to look out the window. I had to bend over him and then look out. For me the situation would be quite uncomfortable as we would be in such close proximity. But Spike was more than willingly to let me take a look at the view. I came forward and now our faces were inches apart. The only thing that saved me from acting on my temptations was the fact that I was looking straight ahead and Spike was looking at me. As if that was more comfortable. But the view was splendid. You could see the snow-capped mountains and landscapes. I turned to my side and look at Spike. Now were just inches apart. I gave him a small smile. He reciprocated. I drew back and sat in my seat. But now my fingers were wrestling with each other due to the recent encounter with Spike. Spike though seemed unfazed and very relaxed.

Our flight had landed. See I am one of those people that like to get out of the plane as soon as the doors open but Spike had different ideas. He was still sitting in his seat. He was planning to leave after everyone leaves. I got up and collected the luggage from the overhead compartment. And I started walking along the aisle among the rush of people.

"Whats the hurry luv?"

"I just wanna get out of the damn plane."

"Why don't we leave in the end when its all nice and empty?"

"You sit and relax. I am leaving." And I started walking ahead.

"Wait, Dawn!"

"Meet me at the baggage claim. Bye." And I was off. I politely thanked the stewardesses and left the plane. I didn't have to carry much luggage but if Spike were present it would have helped. I walked all the way to the baggage claim. But on the way I had time to look at the airport. It was a very unique airport. There was a city within the airport with housing arrangements and all kinds of luxuries and shops. Even the design was a little futuristic. The setup was in total contrast to the natural locales of Switzerland.

"And then he winked at me in that sexy way."

"And the accent? I think I was about to melt into a puddle."

"I just love the hair. Blonde. Very hot!"

"And the way he kept calling me luv."

My head had already jerked in their direction with the word sexy. And then the accent and the blonde hair reaffirmed my suspicion. So this is why he wanted to come out late? Wants all the female staff swooning over him.

"Yeah but Katherine told me he was with a girl. Brunette I think."

"Well she is damn lucky. Would love to be in her shoes." So they thought we were together. And sweetie my shoes are the last place you want to be in right now. I am stuck in such an awkward void between my sister, my best friend, my sister's ex-boyfriend and a vampire. Who says we destroyed the hellmouth? Its right here in my shoes.

And I walked along ignoring the rest of their conversation. I reached the baggage claim and I could see a blonde waiting for me. He turned around to look at me.

"And I thought I was supposed to be late luv."

"I was just listening to some fans of yours."

"What?"

"Your female fan-base. Consisting of the stewardesses on the plane." He played around with a grin on his face. We collected our luggage and walked to the exit. We were talking while walking.

"Natural talent, pet."

"Yeah. Right! And that's not the reason you wanted to come out in the end." And he grinned mischievously. I rolled my eyes in natural regression.

"Oh. Please."

"Just jealous sweet."

"Pffffft. Jealous of those superficial bimbos who never see beyond the charming good looks." I spotted a man holding a board saying "DAWN SUMMERS"I walked ahead.

"So you admit that I am charming and good looking, eh?"

"Whatever."

"Yeah well. Atleast they appreciate the goods." This made me stop in my tracks. I turned around and came face to face with Spike. My voice was soft but strong. I looked into his eyes.

"They don't know you like I do. So I can look beyond the exterior and love everything else inside you."

With one last look at his I turned around and walked towards the man with the board. I had not bothered to take a last look at spike or evaluate what I had said. I had used the word love. Yeah it could be like family love. Heck no. It wasn't. And I also knew that Spike would ask me about this later.


	5. Chapter 5

The name of the guy with the board was James. He was American but working for the Council in Switzerland, Zurich. He knew all the local places and our final destination of the scrolls. He was fairly handsome too. Maybe the cold weather here had had its effect on his complexion. He looked extremely white but in a good way. Kinda like Spike. Ok no thinking about him. I had mentally made a note not to think about him and our recent encounter. I hadn't declared my undying love for him but I had also never been so vocal about my feeling for him. He knew I loved him but maybe like a friend or a brother. Eeew now that thought actually scared me. I knew one thing for sure; I could never treat him like a brother or a guardian again. It had been replaced by an ever-increasing attraction and affection and love? Maybe not yet. I hadn't looked at him again. I just signaled him to follow me to the car with James. While I was walking alongside James, Spike was walking behind us. Our car came into view. It was a BMW X5. It was a sleek SUV. Just appropriate for the drive to Interlaken. James carried our bags into the trunk while I seated myself in the second row. Spike came in and sat next to me. This time I gave him a glance and he also looked at me but I quickly turned because of James's voice.

"Miss Summers, the luggage has been loaded. May we leave?"

"Sure. How long will it take?"

"Well, Interlaken is about 109 miles from Zurich. So we should take about 2 and a half hours." He got into his seat and the car started. So about 2 and a half hours of more torture was to follow.

We were about 15 minutes into the journey and Spike and I had not talked to each other. I did steal glances at him but we had not actually talked since the conversation at the airport. These were the awkward moments that made me regret my attraction and affection towards Spike. We had had such a healthy friendship without the complicated strands of a relationship. In contrast to the mood in the car the scenes outside the car were breathtaking. Though we were still in the city area the intimidating structures and buildings did take my breath away. It was not that we had not seen such fine structures in Rome but these landmarks had a class of their own. I knew the landscape would go on to be even more spectacular as we would move further through the journey.

James had been humming through out the ride and I think this had bugged Spike a bit because he had scoffed twice as if disconcerting his ability. Probably he was a little intimidated because James was humming quite melodiously. Though I got the feeling at times that he was gay but I wasn't very sure. As far as Spike was concerned he had always been a little childlike. Sometimes you could confuse him for a young adult. But in the last year in Sunnydale he had gotten quite somber and mature. Maybe it had something to with the soul. Then again whenever he talks about Angel he sounds just like this jealous kid. But when he had first come to visit us in Rome that night, I had seen the same Spike in the last year of Sunnydale. But as we got to reacquaint ourselves the flavor of our relationship returned. Unfortunately or fortunately not only had we retained our friendship but it was also the commencement of something more.

That thought made me look at Spike who was looking outside. I don't know how but he had sensed that I was looking at him and he suddenly turned his head towards me. I immediately turned my head towards my window. This was neither the place nor the right time to discuss anything. I was starting to get a little restless.

"Um, James how long will it take?"

"Mam, another hour."

"Oh. Great!" Yeah shit load of great. ONE MORE HOUR! I think I would go nuts or maybe I already had. I had firmly decided not to look or talk to Spike again for the rest of the journey to the hotel. Maybe in the hotel room things would seem more appropriate.

James was a pretty good driver. He followed all the road signals. He respected the pedestrians. He did not cut lanes. He did not speed up to threatening rates. On the whole you could call him the dream driver. That was until you experienced his parking. We had started climbing the mountains and it was evening. The sun was just setting. The path was now adorned with the traditional Switzerland locales. Snow capped mountains, deep valleys, vast stretches of meadows, green grasses and the cool breeze. We were rounding up on a curve and our hotel was in view. It was the most beautiful hotel I had ever seen. It was showered with snow and it looked almost like a castle. That was when my perfect angle was shattered by the screeching of tires and the harsh jerking of the car. The car had come to a halt. James had parked. My breath was caught in my throat. My breathing was a little heavy. Suddenly a hand came up on my shoulder.

"AAHHHH." Yes I shrieked.

"Luv, easy with the decibels."

"Sorry just double shocks, is all." Suddenly we both realized we were involved in our first conversation since the last episode. He just gave me a look. It was like a slight, very slight head tilt and a small smile. It was as if 'lets forget the whole thing that happened at the airport'.

"Are you alright?" James opened my door and expressed his concern. I was still looking at Spike. I just gave him a slight smile and turned to come outside the car. James was holding the door for me.

"You sure know how to park James." He gave me a nervous chuckle. He started unloading our luggage. I heard another door bang. Spike was out. We were standing on either sides of the car but we were clearly visible to each other.

"So Watcher's been making some real good money."

"This is so beautiful." I was truly amazed by the beauty of the hotel. It was the perfect place to be in. We had started walking towards the entrance with James at our heels. Spike and I were walking alongside. The interior of the hotel did full justice to the exterior. It was truly luxury at its best. I was wondering whether Giles knew he had booked this hotel for us. Well gotta enjoy what we get. James told us to wait in the reception while he would get us checked in. I went and sat down on one of the sofas. I was still taking in the grandeur of the hotel. Spike came and sat right in front of me. There was a table between us. I just looked at him once. And then we were greeted by James's voice.

"Mam, you have been checked in. You have suite number 109 and 108. Here is the key."

"The key? I thought they were two rooms"

"They are two rooms but they open to each other. They are specifically made for the Council people."

"Oh Well Great. Thanks." He was about to pick up the bags but I stopped him. I found it unnecessary for him to carry our bags into the rooms.

"That's okay James. We will take it."

"Alright Mam. What time should I be here tomorrow?"

"Um…. I will give you a call. I have your number."

"Goodnight Mam."

"Goodnight Sir." Spike gave him a slight nod of the head. As he left Spike looked to me for the next course of action. I motioned to the bags. And Spike put on his pouty face. Ok I seriously don't get this. Vampires are supposed to have super strength but when you tell them to carry luggage they act as if they are the weakest men on earth. The same was the case with Angel. Once he visited us in Rome. When Buffy asked him to carry some bags for her he looked as if he was going to break down at the spot. Very reluctantly he picked up the bags and carried them. Apparently it ran in the family.

We finally found suite 109 and 108. They had a common entrance. As we entered we saw our rooms. They were as beautiful as the hotel. While my room was adorned in cream and yellow shades with a Victorian setting, Spike's room was red with dim lighting. He lightly dropped the bags on the floor and went and plopped down on the bed. He was happy with his room. I dropped my bag too. I walked across towards Spike's bed. His eyes were closed and his face was turned upwards. I wanted to lie down next to him on the bed but I wasn't ready to do that. So I sat down on the floor beside the bed. My back was resting on the side of the bed. Spike was right behind me lying on the bed.

"I am bloody worried about you." It was kinda comforting to hear his voice after a long while. I gave a long sigh and turned towards him. His duster was off and he was in his black shirt and pants but he was still in the same position as before except that he was looking at me.

"Why?"

"You have all these misconceptions in your noggin which you need to clear out."

"What?"

"Luv, you are thinking all wrong."

"Could we be more specific please?"

"There is nothing to be loved inside me."

"What the hell are you on about?"

"What you said at the airport."

"Ok Spike. About that. I was just a little angry. I just felt like you thought that I did not appreciate you when I really do. A lot. You were like a hero to me when I was 14. And you still are. So what I said was nothing but the truth." I was still sitting and looking at him. Surprisingly I wasn't scared to tell him all this. It was like I had wanted to tell him all this.

"Dawn…….."

"And I am not stupid. And I don't have any misconceptions. Probably you have some of your own to be cleared." He gave a small smile at that. I did too. And then suddenly I had this wild urge to tell him more.

"Do you know I had a crush on you when I was young?" And my eyes were literally lighting up hearing myself say that. Spike was also getting a little gleam in his eyes.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. I even thought of trying a love spell on you but I never go to it with the whole Glory thing happening."


	6. Chapter 6

I am actually very disappointed in myself for being so lazy about this little baby of mine. As someone had mentioned in the reviews its kind of difficult to pick up a story from a certain point when a long period of time has passed. I found myself in a similar predicament, floundering to come up with ideas to continue this story. So I would like a little help from you guys. Where would you like this story to go? Any ideas would be welcome.


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